Since Nov 29, 2001: Where Am I Now?

Thursday, 29 November 2012

• Since Nov 29, 2001: Where Am I Now?

  It was 11 years ago today when something in my life was coming end. It was a normal Thursday evening. I and the others were preparing for choir practice.
  
  I can't recall how we were lead to hear the news. The news of the ending of regular choir on Dec, 2, 2001. It was shocking news. I couldn't believe it.
  
  It was a sad thing to hear. I was torn to pieces. I felt like a part of me died that day. It was like I was not needed any more. I had lost a job that I so loved doing.
  
  That night when I went home, my spirit was down. I made up my mind to get myself prepared to sing on Friday and Sunday services. I wanted to be apart of the ending of the regular choir.
  
  My spirit got very low since I heard the news of the choir. I didn't understand why the ending came in the way that it did. I really didn't hear an explanation why the choir ended.
  
  I cried myself to sleep that Thursday night.  My soul was in sorrow. I was in prayer with God for comfort. Even though I didn't understand why things ending that way. I wanted to do what was right.
  
  I got myself together for my very last Friday night service as in the regular choir. It was a sad time. I did what I normally did. I worshipped God.
  
  As for Sunday, I wasn't as talkative. I still couldn't understand why things where as they were. I  didn't want to leave the choir.  But we didn't have any choose.
  
  Sunday December 2, 2001 was very sad day for me. I went to church. I didn't want to talk much during church. I sung in the regular choir for the last time. I wanted to leave on a good note.
  
  I gave God my all that day... As I step down from where I was standing, I feel that I was stepping into something new. I didn't know what it was...
  
  I made it to the room where I hang up my choir robe for the very last time. My robe  #  was 34. As I made my way to the bathroom I started to cry. I had to compose myself. 
  
  I made it to my seat to here the message. I was sad. I cried  and held back some tears.  Thought the days, months, years I had a very hard time looking up where the choir use to stand. I still attended the church where I sung in the choir.
  
  It's been a long time. I'm still being healed from the emotional up and down from the departure of choir. It was like I had a divorce. It was like I wasn't  wanted any more.
  
  I was very faithful as I was on the worship team. I did all that was requested. I thank God for the 5 years, 9 months and 11 days as a member of the special choir and regular choir.
  
  As I look back over my years since this sad time in my life, I see that I was broken. The thing that I loved so dearly was no more. I had no choose in the matter. It moved my into a direction I didn't where I was headed.
  I can say that I was broken. Through the years I can say "I'm still singing."  My heart is for the LORD. It's not in what I desire or what I think I need.
  
  As I continue on this journey, I see that I've come a long ways from this experience. God has been with me. His goodness and mercy continue to following me all my days.
  
  Even thought I have some flashback of sorrow of what happened, I can always turn to God for whatever comes in my path way. No matter what it is. God is there.
  
  Indeed things can and will happen in our lives. There are things that we will have no control over. We just have to apply what we should do in the best interest of what happens.
  
  May we learn from what things that bring sorrow to us.
  May we not get bitter over things that do turn out our way.
  May the LORD guide us in the direction that we should go.
  May the LORD heal our hurts and wounds
  May we remember the good memories in our lives.
  Amen.
  
  Thanks for reading.
  Susan
  
  Scripture
  
  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
  
  2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV

Water Baptism Anniversary

Note: Wednesday, 28 November 2007

• Water Baptism Anniversary

  It was on this date in 1993, Sunday, November 28.
  My 14 year old nephew, Dwayne and I were off to our water baptism at the Y.M. C. A. Here is my testimony on that account.
  
  I wrote some of this in my Salvation Issues Blog on August 26, 2007. It starts off with a question. I had an issue that brought me confusion before I got water baptized. I did added more too this since August on this blog.  
  

  ---

  I have been thinking... When did all this confusion start?  I cannot recall. But I do recall on the Day After Thanksgiving 1993. Things became weirder and weirder and the question of my salvation began to deepen. 
  
  It was the day after Thanksgiving Day, on November 26, 1993. We gather for Thanksgiving Worship and Communion Service. While we were in praise and worship, something weird happened to me.
  
  It was like some one pulled the plug on me and I loss energy. I could not feel my legs as I stood. I could not hear clearly---so I stopped singing. What was this?
  
  Then something in my belly came upward and than suddenly stopped. Than the sound came back up. I could hear clearly again. I did not know what was going on with me.
     
  I made it through the service. I questioned what happened to me. I did not tell anyone because I thought nobody would believe me.
  
  So I keep it to myself. I started to seek God more and reading my Bible more. By the way, I took part in my very first communion in Church that night.
  
  
  Sunday, November 28, 1993 was my Water Baptism Day. I could not wait to be submerged into the water. I had thoughts that was trying to tell me that I was not saved. I wanted this water baptism so much. I had to wait unto it was announced in church. 
  On that morning of my water baptism, I was reading from the book of 1 Corinthians 14 from the New King James Version.  I could not focus on what I
  \
• I kept reading anyway. Then I came time to read verse 9 b, I read it in a new way. For  [ I ] will be [ blessed ] speaking in the air. That caught my attention. If you have been around me, (in person) you would notice that I am not much of a talker.
  Anyway, I wanted to make sure that I was saved before I was water baptized. If I was not saved than the water baptism did not count. I just got wet for nothing.
  
  Water Baptism is a very important moment in a Christian's life. Jesus was water baptized. So I wanted to follow after Him.
  

  ---

  Well that important moment happened for me on that 4th Sunday of November '93. Those who came for the water baptism gathered at the Y.M.C.A. I cannot remember if it was 1 pm or 2 pm. We had praise and worship.
  
  Then it came time for those who wanted to be water baptized to form a line. One by one we enter into the water. There was Pastor Brian Z. and Pastor Nick D. that did the service.
  
  For those who are curious about my water baptism. There were 25 of us. I was # 22. I was ready to go under. I wanted to bury my old life and come into my new life. Pastor Nick D. had the honor to baptizing me.
  
  As it was my turn to step in the water, the joy came within me. I was so happy. I made my way in. When I got to Pastor Nick, he explained to me what I needed to do.
  
  I was about ready to do what he said after he told me. Pastor Nick stop me and said "not now." I had to wait until he told me to.
  
  When it was my turn to be water baptized, Pastor Nick asked me my name. I boldly said my full name so everybody could hear it. Pastor Nick as me if I accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. I joyfully said YES! I cannot recall the exact words but, Pastor Nick ask another question...Will you follow Jesus? I said YES!
  
  Then Pastor Nick said "I baptize you in the name of the Father, in the name of the Son and the name of the Holy Spirit." And after that it was my "time" to go under into that watery grave and be washed from my past.
  
  As I was under the water, I felt like I did on that Friday Night in Church. It was like I had an unplugged sort of feeling. As I came out of the water, I was a very happy woman. I even clapped my hands. I said "YES! YES!"
  
  As I was making my way out of the pool, I looked over at Dwayne. He was being baptized after me by PBZ. There where two others after Dwayne.
  
  After this wonderful moment of time, we made our way to dry off. I had a joyful spirit about me. We made it home. I cooked some spaghetti. 
  

  ---

  I had this thought come to me as I was reflecting back over these last three months of my special days in September, October and November.
  When I came to Word of Life Church for the first time, I wore a purple shirt, black dress pants and a causal red jacket. When I got water baptized, I wore causal purple shirt and causal light blue pants and bare footed. When I was at the Garden Tomb I wore a causal purple jacket, causal black shirt and blue jeans and tennis shoes.
  
  I had a thought: Royalty wear purple.
  From My Book Of Thanks:
  I am so thankful that I am a follower of Jesus Christ.
  I am so thankful that I was water baptized.

Visited A Foreign Land But Felt Like At Home

Note: Tuesday, 17 November 2009

• Visited A Foreign Land But Felt Like At Home

  Yeah, the journey to Israel like going home to spiritual roots. My dream of going to Israel came to pass. I thought about it so much it was as though I have already been there before getting there.
  
  I read scriptures in the Bible on Israel. I learned about some of the places where we were going. I had the itinerary in my journal. I went over it every day.
  
  When the actual journey came to be, I felt like I was walking out what I keep thinking and praying about. It was wonder when I saw things come into the light.
  
  While On The Journey
  Visited A Foreign Land But Felt Like At Home
  
  It was well worth the journey in visiting a foreign land.
  I made myself at home while I was there.
  
  Peace,
  Susan
  
  P.S.
  The photo was taken while we were on the Mount of Beatitudes in Israel.

How I Want To Be Remembered

Note: Wednesday, 21 November 2012

• How I Want To Be Remembered...

  I haven't thought about this much.... I want to be remembered as a lover of God. A person who sought after God in things in life.
  
  I don't want to leave negative impressions. There are things that were left undone. People who went on their ways. There were lost connections. There were some connections, I wondered whatever happened.
  
  I want people to see the good that I tired to express in my lifetime. The concern about things in the family history searchings, I want to past down to future generations.
  
  I know that I am not perfect. I had my faults. My down falls and my mishaps. But I keep on going through the times of not knowing.
  
  I want people to see the beauty of God that's there. How God brought me through things. Those health issues that I had throughout life. Times of whenever in my life. I keep going.
  
  Faith is the way of life. I had to grew in things as things happened. I had to keep going.
  
  Some day my time will come.
  I hope people remember me as a person who loved God.
  leaving good memories for those cherries.
  
  While On My Journey
  How I Want To Be Remembered...
  
  As a friend of God.
  A nice person who brought some good into others lives.

God With Me

Reflections: Sunday, 28 October 2007

• God With Me

  A friend ask me this question--
  
  Was there EVER in your Christian walk when you thought for a second or a minute or even a day when God wasn't there for you?? 
• 
  

  I have never thought of this before. I have been thinking about this question. As I have been looking back over my Christian walk, here is some of my thoughts.
  
  I have been on this journey with the LORD for 14 years. I cannot recall thinking that Jesus has not be there for me. The thought haven't cross my thinking.
  
  There have been some tough times in my life to where I was drawn deeper to speak to the LORD. But doubting that He was not there was not the issue. I have been talking to God for a long. Well before I got into a REAL relationship with Him 14 years ago.
  
  I started talking to God in my 20's. That has been over 20 years ago. There were many times in my life when I was in need of things to happen in my life.
  
  I prayed to God during those times. What I did, became a habit. I always thought that God heard me even though I did not hear or have a rely to what I asked Him about. But I keep having talking to Him.
  
  Here is an example: This happened about a few years after I got saved. When I was in a lot of pain at nights and could not sleep in my bed, I would talk to God. I recall one time that I said Lord, I know that You are not causing this pain. You would not do this to me. You love me.
  
  Through all this pain, I gain more of God in my life view. I try not to let what I was going through, get to me. As long as kept talking to God, I keep going. I didn't know what was causing this pains in my life, but I keep talking to God.
  
  About 10 or 11 years before I became a Christian, there were times when I heard replies. A Voice that guided me to do some things. Then from these experiences, this guidance draw me deeper into things that led me deeper into the things of God.
  
  If you are in Christ, remember that God is with you when you don't think so or feel His presence. May you continue on in your journey. Keep believing that He will show up along your path of life. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.
  
  Peace to You,
  "Susie" 

Singing During Hard Times Too

Reflections: Tuesday, 27 November 2007

• Singing During Hard Times Too

  I hope that you are still singing songs unto the LORD today. No matter what season of life you may be in. Sing unto the LORD always. Amen.
  

  ---

  I was in the Upper Room this morning praying. As I was praying from my prayer journal, my thoughts drifted off. And I wonder some a bit. Then a song came to my thinking. I reflect back on that song. Every now and then this song pops into me thinking.
  
  Here is a testimony relating to this song.
  One day in October 1999, I came home from Church on a Friday Night. My mother was sick. She told me that she was getting ready to go to the Emergency Room. Some of my siblings took her.
  
  Within an hour, I got a call from one of my brothers. He said that our mother had an heart attack. It turned out to be congested heart failure for the second time.
  
  My mind was running with worry. I called a friend from Church. She prayed with me for my mother.
  
  After I got off the phone. I started to an emotional cry. Then something within me rose up. And I started to sing a song. I had recently learned this song in Church.
  
  The song was "Let The Peace of God Reign."  I kept singing that song over and over again until I got peace. I sung the song with tears running down my face. (This song continues to minister to me till this day.)
  
  There are some things I started to do as I sing this song. I do not sing the song as it was written. Back then I add my mother's name to the song instead of the word I, mine, me and my. Every time we sung this song in Church, I would sing it not as it was written. PEACE comes to me.
  
• Here is that song. I was singing it off on on today.
   Let The Peace of God Reign. (I added some words to it.)
  
  Father of Life, draw me closer, Lord, my heart is set on You.
  (Help) me run the race of time. With Your life enfolding mine.
  And let the peace of God, let it reign.
  
  Oh, Holy Spirit You're my comfort,
  Strengthen me, hold my head up high.
  (As) I stand upon Your truth, Bringing glory (All to) You
  And let the peace of God, Let it reign.
  
  The chorus
  O LORD, I hunger, for more of You,
  (Come) Rise up within me, let me know, Your truth.
  O Holy Spirit, (You) saturate my soul,
  (so that Your) life, (my) God, (that) fills me now,
  (So that) Your healing power, (that brings me life) and (makes) me whole
  (O) let (Your) peace (O) God, (Come) let it reign.
  
  As I was praying this morning I was adding names as I sung this song. Let the PEACE of God Reign.... Here the actual song. 

  Let The Peace Of God Reign
  English Lyrics 

  Father of life draw me closer
  Lord, my heart is set on You
  Let me run the race of time
  With Your life enfolding mine
  And let the peace of God
  Let it reign
  
  Oh Holy Spirit, You're my comfort
  Strengthen me, hold my head up high
  And I stand upon Your truth
  Bringing glory unto You
  And let the peace of God
  Let it reign
  
  Oh Lord I hunger for more of You
  Rise up within me let me know Your truth
  Oh Holy Spirit saturate my soul
  And let the life of God fill me now
  Let Your healing power breathe life and
  Make me whole
  And let the peace of God let it reign
  

  ---

Some of my thoughts:
When there are times when we don't know what to do, even when we don't know what to say or pray...Try SINGING unto the LORD. Sing a new song. Sing in the Spirit and Pray in the Spirit.

From My Book Of THANKS:
Father God, I am so thankful that You bring us life through Your Son, Jesus Christ. LORD Jesus, I am so thankful that in times of uncertainty, You come and comfort us. Holy Spirit, I am so thankful that a song can rise up within us so that we can give God praise.