Tuesday, September 17, 2013

My Converson Testimony: The Uncut Version

Blog Notes Sunday, 16 September 2007

  • My Conversion Testimony: The Uncut Version

    For those who just happened to notice this posting. Here is one of my testimony. It's long. The Shorten Version post.... on my Public Conversion Day Anniversary 2007. I did add more since my AUGUST 28, 2007 entry...

    What I have written was from am email...I was sharing this with some of my friends. Also there are future blogs within this blog. Some other blogs I have already posted.

    From where I came from up to the Day of my salvation.... This was my Public Announcement of  salvation on 09/17/93 and a little of 2007.
    I  made a private surrendering to Jesus as my personal Lord and Savior in 1983.  I can say that I have been walking with the LORD longer than I have stated.Words in shades: Made into Blogs...



    Somehow I just kept typing and I flowed with the words that  kept coming. I added some more detail from my email and made some corrections.
    My Conversion: Made Public
    My Background:
    I was born to Baptist parents who were saved. I was my parents' 19th child, their 4th daughter, and their youngest child. I did  not grow up in church.
    I only went to church about ten times before I got saved. Those church attendance were for more funerals than weddings. My parents raised me the best way that they could. They owned their own home and had their family business. Both of my parents are in the presence of the LORD.
    During My Youth Years:  How Shy Was I?  
    When I was growing up, I was teased a lot. I got mad quick. Yeah, I was a hot head. I keep it in. As long as I can recall, I had trouble hearing. I did not talk a lot outside the household. I can recall only going to "church" at least one time during my youth.
    My first remembrance of going to Sunday School, was where one of my sister in law taught. My sister in law ask me to read out loud. Some of the other kids laughed at my speaking. I could not pronounce the words in the King James Bible.
    Yes, that was my  last Sunday School attendance. I did not like being there. Let alone being laugh at by not speaking words correctly. [This reminds me of the time in KG when I was ask a question about What would Sally do when Dick  took her hair ribbon? I said she would beat him up. Some of the other kids laughed at my answer. I felt bad.]
    During My Teen Years:
    I might have went to "church" about 2 to 3 times as a teenager. I remember the first revival I went to.  It was weird. At the end of the service the Reverend of the church ask a question. I can't recall how he said it. It went something like is. Is there anyone who wants to come to the Lord?

    There was one teen age boy who answered the call. He came crying and they sit him in a chair. Two older men laid their hands on him. It was like this teenager had done something "very bad and was in trouble". I never saw anybody cry in church like that before.

    I thought to myself, I don't want to come to the Lord like "that' . This brought more of a distant for me to keep going to church. I recall  when I went to "a tent setting church". [That's what I called it then]. That did not leave a good impression on me. I wanted to leave as quick as I could. I lose interest in the 'Church Life."
    During My Middle Teens to 20's: How Was I Drawn To God?
    In the mid to late 1970's, some of my brothers and sisters would always watch "Religious" shows on TV that told stories in the Bible. It was during Easter and Christmas time. There was one show that I watched ever year during Easter.
    There was a scene where the actor playing Jesus. This Jesus actor would look into the camera. With the camera focused on this Jesus' baby blue eyes , he, the actor Jesus said something like this...I will be with you even to the end of the world.
    When that moment happened, I noticed something in me change for the very first time in my entire life. It was as though that it was JESUS Himself who spoke those words directly to me. There was an impact that came from that moment in my life.  I even remember where I was when this happened. I was in the basement of the house that I grew up in.
    It was after that happened I started to read the Bible. It was not a King James Version. It was a Bible that I could relate to. At that time is was The Revised English Bible. I recall that I would hide and reading my Bible. I did not want no one to know that I was reading it.
    Then eventually I began to turn from things I believed were not right. I was not into drugs...no drinking liquor...nor into the party life. I was drawn to the soaps. I was amazed by UFO's stories. I love hearing stories of the unexplain mysteries. Stories of things out of the Bible made my wonder more. I believe that there that there was a God. I learned this and got influence from my family.
    My mother had a saying  that she would always say. "The Lord does not like ugly.  I don't mean a ugly face, I mean a ugly mind, a ugly heart or a ugly soul." That felt like a sermon to me. My father had a voice to where what he said to me, I would believe. Well, there was somethings he said I believe that he was joking.
    Yeah, I believe that there was a God. I heard about Jesus. I did not want nobody in my family know that I read that Bible. I was afraid that they would want me to go to church.  I DID NOT like to go to their churches. I had FEAR about being there. I felt very uncomfortable in church.
    My Dad use to tease me when I got the  Bible out.  I thought that it was a bad thing that I was doing..I was realized that he was joking. That was another reason why I would hide reading the Bible. [Our Family history was in the front of the Bible. That's why I was getting into it.]
    When I was in my 20's,  I talked to God a lot.  At times, I heard "a calm voice" in response to some of what I was going through in my life. This made me quest for more about that voice. More about who's voice that was. I was interested in "the voice". I didn't know how to approach what I was searching for. But I keep searching through the unexplain T.V. stories that I would listen to.
     In 1989 My Father Died.  
     About 11 days before his death, I heard my Dad talking out loud. I realized he was talking to someone. But who? He told this person that he was dying. My Dad was calm about it and had no fear in his tone of voice. I thought that my Dad was talking in his sleep. So I tried to wake him up.
    As I was in the process of walking up to by my Dad's bed side, he opened his eyes. He looked over my shoulder and said some these words.  "Look at all my people".  He had the most joyful expression on his face. By that time, I was in total tears and sobbing. I know what he meant.
    In my early 20's I would watch TV shows that dealt with death and the after life. What I heard my Dad was saying.... match up with what I heard from the shows. I believe that my Dad had seen in the spirit world. My Dad also, ask my if I saw birds flying above his head. I did not see anything. He said that he did. I believed him.
    From that moment on I begin to speak to God in times of need.
    Memories of My Father
    I ask God if my Dad was dying, prepare us for his death. There had been a number of times when our Dad was at the point of death. He had been sick for about 11 years. There were times in the hospital that the doctors where amazed how he lived so long. [ He was on oxygen.]
    In 1989, It took me a while to get the courage to go back to the hospital.  It was on a Friday that my Dad was going to be taken to another place to recover. When I got to his room, he asked me with a joyful voice if  he was going HOME! I said just to another place.
    We made it to that place. This was the very first time that I rode in an ambulance.  My Dad didn't like this place. He had trouble breathing and was uncomfortable. At one time two nurses came into his room.... my Dad did something that I never seen him do. 
         My Dad got so angry.  He yelled at the nurses... GET OUT OF HERE!!!   Yeah, I took off too.  I went over by the window and  started to cry.   My Dad called for me to sit down in the chair next to his bed.
    He did something that he never done before.  He ask me for my hand. He took both of his hands one on top and the other under my hand. He had his eyes closed.... so I put my hand down and was crying. After this, he told me to call "Lu", my mother and tell her not worry. 
    It was about the 3PM hour that when this happened. Then 12 hours later my Dad passed on.  Before I heard the news. I knew that I knew.  Something strange happened to me that morning.
    I saw a ball of light come from my closet and I said OH, MY GOD!!.....When I got the news a little bit after 3AM.  I felt something leave me. I felt released from what I saw in my father's suffering.
    I knew where my father was. I remember going outside that Oct 7th morning. I looked up into the dark sky. Looking at toward the Heavens. It was one of our nephew's birthday that day. He turned 2. Yeah, we had a birthday party for Marcus.[We were help raising Marcus...his mother died 35 days after his birth. I was praying back during that time in my life as well.]
    Ever since my father's death, I had become closer to finding out things. I begin on a quest to find out some things. I have been searching for my family history. I begin ever a deeper search for some things about the Bible.

    In 1990, I thought that I could never celebrate Father's Day because I did not have a father.  But a revelation that I have a Heavenly Father hit me. I began to read the Bible more and more and discovered radio "religious" talk show.
    By  1992, 1993: More Things Came:
    I was baby sitting my siblings kids a lot. I had little time to do things. I helped out with my mother and brothers. I did not know what I was going to do with my life.  I was in a time of not knowing what to do but wanting to do some other things.
    There would be people coming to our doors witnessing about Jesus.  At times I did not want to talk to them. But I begin to listen to some of them. I tried to be nice.
    I even receive letters from psychics and fortune tellers, telling me that my 30th  birthday was a mark of something special in my life.  I would response to their letters. I was telling them that my spiritual guidance comes from the Holy Spirit.  At that time they sent long letters with a return stamp envelope for reply. 
    My thinking was on God and was I driven to Him. I spoke things that made me think about what I was saying after someone ask me something. For example:  A Jehovah witness ask....Who was the Greatest person to walk the Earth?  I answered Jesus.  But after they left... I thought to myself that Jesus is still here in Spirit.
    During the Summer of 1993.
    I was searching for my family history. I came across a lady who's Great-grand father owned my Great grand father, Isaac Blakey,who was an African. At one point on my journey I believed that one day, I would came across one of family slaveholder's ancestry. 
    Other searchers help me out for that day that came to past. The lady lived the in KC area...I told her but she did not believe me at first.  I did mail her the proof that she need to see. She was so happy, she called me to thank me.
    My Great-grand father, Isaac fought in the Civil War.  MS Union Army. This lady's Great grand father Y. C. Blakey testify that he knew my Isaac. Isaac had a good reputation as a slave. They even lived not to far from each other after the War in MO. I believe that both my Isaac and Y.C. are in heaven. 
    July of 1993.
    I was listening to the weather report...I heard that there would be a series of rain coming our way.  I said out loud with a voice of concern. That sounds like a flood!  My nephew, Dwayne was over and he over heard me. He said that I think too much. But you know what? The rain came and so did the flood. 
    I watch the news like glue.. What was happening around us...flooding.  The day before the FLOOD hit. I got chance to look at the MO river.  It was very high.  Water flowing fast....The flood came...Our city made headline news.
    July and Aug of 1993.
    We survived the before and aftermath of the flood. Yeah, I prayed...God who is going to help us when the flood comes? We did get the help from surrounding cities and States.

    I continued to watch prophecy and TBN. On 13th Sept of 1993, I recall that the Israel Peace Plan was about to be signed. I had chill bumps...I said that it is not time yet for this to happen.
    Sept 12, 1993

    2nd Sunday In September This was a recent blog: Sept 12, 2007.

    I have been in the habit of Celebrating the 2nd Sunday of September each year. It's the day that I began to come to church. It's been 14 years. I am still in rhythm of going to church. When it comes time for me to miss church, every time when I have missed,  I felt like I  backslid.

    My unofficial beginning of being a part of church
    started on Sunday, Sept 12, 1993. 
    It took me a while to except the invitation but I made myself go to church. I was invited to go to a Baptist Church where my brother and his wife were members. My sister in law  was speaking on that Sunday morning. I agreed to go...

    Here is my short testimony of my unsaved life going to church. I used words as how I thought back in the days. Please don't be offended by how I express my story.
    We arrived early to church. Why we went early, I did not know. We had to wait for the service to start. I was wearing my red and black dress. Back in those days I did not like to dress up. Let alone being early for church.

    As the service was about to start, we were ask to get out a hymnbook and turn to songs that we were going to sing. By the time I got to the page were the song that we were suppose to sing, I could not catch up with the words. I did not know where we were at.

    I forgot how many songs that were sung. I called them humms. I could not hear the words to the songs. The words sounded blurry to me.
    Finally it was time for the message. The Reverend of the church introduced my sister in law. She entitled her sermon "Stretching Your Spiritual Muscles." It was an illustrated sermon. She was using stretchable wrestling men as an example. How to stretch ourselves in what we do. It was a FAITH message.

    I made it through the total of 45 minutes service. I mean from beginning to the end. It seem very long to me. I thought that it would never end. I did not know how I made it through the service. But I did. I was well ready to leave.
    But at the end of the service... the Reverend of the church ask if anyone wanted to come to the LORD.  There was no response.  I thought to myself that I was already saved.  The Reverend ask everyone to come up front and we prayed. Then we said the Lord's Prayer. When it was time to go, I rode home with my sister, Freda.
    There was a huge banner in the church up front. It read: JESUS IS ALIVE... Freda ask my a question... Is Jesus alive in that church?  I SAID NO!  I felt like Jesus was died. In most of the churches that I have been to it appears that way to me. Funerals had more LIFE than the actual Sunday services.

    Freda invited me to come to her church, Word of Life Church on Friday Night.  She told me to think about it. I thought about it. Actually I prayed about it.
    Freda told me that Pastor Brian Zahnd had a radio program... I decided to tune in on all that  week. I needed to have an idea of what I was getting myself into....

    I tuned into Words of Life on September 13, 1993. My first impression about what pastor sounded like on the radio was...he talked LOUD! Boy he was LOUD...I forgot what he was talking about. He just left me with the impression of LOUDNESS in his voice.

    I remember one of my brothers asking me if I was going to join church during this week. This was after the Baptist Church I visited. Something within me said NO THAT CHURCH!


    By Thursday September 16, 1993. I had made up my mind to come to Word of Life Church. I was wearing my black dress pants with a purple blouse and red jacket. It was cold in church. I kept my jacket on.

    We got there about 7:40 PM. As I walked in I notice that the music was very loud. It was alive and not dead. It was not like the other churches where I have been. It did not seem like a church setting. We found a place to set. It was not too close.
    I received my welcome from Pastor Brian. I even raised my hand to show that I was a first time visitor on the 17th of Sept '93. To me Pastor Brian did not look like a pastor. But he did preach LOUD.

    I made it through pastor's message... "The Iron Did Swim". The service was much much longer than I thought. We had our 3 year old niece with us. She was getting restless.  She kept asking me is it time to go. 
    By that time it was about 9:35 PM...Pastor was coming home for a landed....At that time pastor was starting his altar call, my niece was playing in the chair next to me.

    And a thought came to me. It was a message I heard on Insight for Living. It was about on holding things loosely. So I forgot all about my niece, so that I could hear what pastor was saying.
    And suddenly something happened....As I was listening to pastor...for no reason at all, my left hand began to have notable pain in it. It hurt so much I had to rub it. I continued to listen to the message. We had our heads bowed and our eyes closed.
    I heard pastor say, don't raise your hand to man but, to God.  As pastor continued on with his message, I found myself agreeing with him. My mind was racing or something I can't explain. I was crying out to God. By this time I was calming myself down. After I got myself together, I heard a calm voice say "raise your hand". 
    My first reaction was to open my eyes to see where that voice came from. Something told me to keep my eyes closed.  So when I did, I felt a very warm sensation pour into my heart. It felt so good that I looked down at  my heart with my eyes closed. Wow! It felt GOOD. [I will have a recap of what this experience ahead in yellow.]
    After getting over this....then that  calm voice said again...."raise your hand".  Without thinking, I agree and did as I was commanded.  During the time the warm sensation came, I only heard "the voice". I did not hear pastor say to come up to the altar.  It was not until I heard the clapping, I awaken to the noise and opened my eyes out of darkness into the light.
    I was shaking like a leaf. I did not know why. It was like I was in fear.  I got a hold of myself. One of the ushers kindly escorted me up to the altar.  I was the last ones to get there. Right behind me was my three year old niece. [She had a purpose in being there. I did not want to put her in the nursery.]
    ....Yes, Salvation was knocking on the door of my heart that night. Jesus introduce Himself to me. I believe that God got my attention by touching my left hand in such a way that there was some pain. I had to rub my hand. This happened before the altar call.

         This is what happened during the altar call; I believe that the Spirit of the LORD spoke to me to raise my hand. [He said it twice.] Then something come into my heart like a "liquid" substance that was a VERY warm sensation. It felt REALLY GOOD.

         [After the warm feeling came into my heart, I raised my hand. That was the second time I heard His voice. Also this voice sounded familiar. I heard this voice well before I came to WOLC church.]

         It was after the altar call, I opened my eyes from the darkness into the bright light. Then I  had "fear and was really trembling" come upon me. I answered the altar call. I believe that the LORD met me right on the spot where I was sitting. Between the 9:30 - 9:40 PM hour that night. The church was located on 3131 Frederick Boulevard.
    As I said that I was the last one up at the altar. Pastor Brian was talking to us. There were 3 teenagers, a man and me. The man was crying. Pastor looked at me and ask me if I knew any one that should be up here with me. Something told me to agree with him. So I shook my head yes.... than he said than I will become a minister. 
    At that instant, I begin to cry but some how, my three year old niece come into my view. So I held my cry back.  She got my mind off what I heard. I was more worried about what she would do up at the altar than my need for a Savior. Other things cross my mind to what have I gotten myself into as well.
    I repeated after what Pastor Brian led us into praying. I meant very word with all of my heart.  What happened during the altar call that give me comfort... was my three year old niece. She took my hand and held it as I was saying the "sinner's prayer".
    After we were done up at the altar, I followed the man with the Bible. I had some worry on my mind that other would be mad because of what I just did. I got saved. [I could not even fill out the information card that was ask of me. I took it home and filled it out and mailed it back to the church.]
    I did feel different that night. We ate at Wendy's.  I had a bacon cheese burger, french fries and a sprite. We even ate inside Wendy's. It was getting late. We took Chantelle home. I told her mother who was my sister, Mary that I got saved. I made it home. Then I got ready for bed. 
    Before going to sleep, I thanked God for the day.  I felt very different that night. As I fell asleep I saw a garden come into my vision. In this garden, there were many shades of green. It was greenery like I have ever seen before. It was so very beautiful. I just kept looking at it as long as I could until I fell asleep. [During this time in my life, I have not been dreaming for a very long time... just sleeping.]
    The next day I told my mother that I was saved. She said I should have been saved 10 years ago. I thought.... Was I too late getting in here?  I believe that my life was change when I met Jesus. My mind had changed. I knew that it was time for me to start going to church.  But WHO'S? and Where???
    I had 3 churches to choose from. Two of them where Baptist Churches; New Hope and Saint Francis. I could have joined WOLC two days after my conversion. But I HAD TO PRAY ABOUT THIS ONE. In the meanwhile. I continued to come to WOLC. Both on Fridays and Sundays.
    It took a month to actually join a church. I was thinking more to the church where I met Jesus. But I had a thought of what would me mother think. Why didn't I join her church. But I prayed and what came to my spirit was to join the church were I felt comfortable.
    I believe that I was led toward the church where I felt comfortable. It was on 17th Oct 1993. I was set to joint WOLC at high noon. One thing that I remember about joining Word of Life Church, my knees were shaking when the invitation to join the church was open. I made my way up the the platform. We gathered in a circle and introduce ourselves. We prayed I and I become a member of WOLC.
    I have been learning a lot about the things of God and  how to live since I began being apart of church, through fellowship with the people of God and reading my Bible. I continue to grow in the Lord. I am wanting to know about Jesus and the kingdom of God.

    God has giving me some understanding about some things on my quest for Him. I have met a lot of friends a long the journey. I am excited to be a part of God's church.
    Thanks for taking the time to reading my Conversion Testimony: My public announcement of Jesus as my Lord and Savior.
    My journey continues.....


    As for today, I like to look nice when I go to church. I like being at church early. I love to sing all the songs that we sing in church. If I don't know the songs, I humm or do something along with the music.

    The services are not as long as I think. It takes about 45 minutes to and hour to just to get to the message. We have business to take care of. I go to church expecting that I will receive some thing. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me All of my days of my life And I will dwell in the house of the LORD. Forever.
    LORD GOD, I thank You that You saw me coming to Word of Life Church on that day You introduce Yourself to me. I thank You that You saved me. Always be in my thoughts. Teach me Your ways. Be with me all of my days.

    I  pray Lord, that will not backslid. If that day ever comes, put me back on track. I want to follow You all of my days. Teach me not to walk away from You. Make me who You created me to be in Your name I pray, Amen

Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Remembering 9/11

     Note: 11 September 2011

  • Remembering 9/11

    Remembrance Of THAT Day In 2001

    This is a repost of a blog about 9 /11. That day was on September 11, 2007.

    I woke up on THAT morning as I normally did on any morning. I had my morning devotional. My time with God. About 7:30 AM , I was in the process in going to watch Sister Joyce Meyer followed by Pastor Cleflo Dollar. But something within me said to pray some more.

    So I did what I thought what the Spirit of God was leading me to do. I did not know what to pray. I started praying in the Spirit. Then I prayed with the understanding. I felt PEACEFUL after my prayer time.

    During this time in my life, I just had my 2nd dose of chemo for Lupus on September 4, 2001. I was feeling a whole lot better. I believe that things were going to change. A new beginning was at hand. I recall Pastor Brian [Zahnd] words... "It's no ordinary day..."

    Also we were have special guest at Word of Life Church on that Friday Night, September 14. Pastor Brian Houston and Hillsong were coming. I was in the choir during that time. The choir was ask to be a part of worship that night. I was so excited. I was preparing for the praise and worship by learning my songs.

    But on THAT Tuesday morning, it was different. After I had done my prayer for THAT morning, I went about cooking for the day. I cannot recall the time but one of my brothers was wanting me to come and look at the T.V.

    I hesitated in going but I made my way and glance at the set. Without thinking about what my brother was trying to show me I went back to my work. Then after that for some reason I was in the praying mood. What I saw on T.V. was a big building that appeared to be on fire.

    Then as time passed by. I came back to watch what my brother was trying tell me. I looked at the T.V. and saw WHAT was happening. I said O MY GOD!!! I could not believe what I was looking at. It looked like a stage set out of a major motion picture.

    My sister, Mary called and filled me in on what was going on. I could not believe it. My mind was at a lost. I did not know what to do. But to watch what was going on and pray some more. O GOD!

    Then something strange was starting to happen to me as I continue to watch what was unfolding on T.V. I cannot explain it. I could not listen to the words that I was hearing on T.V.

    It brought a very heavy spirit upon me as I would hear what was going on. So I turned down the sound and read the close caption. I watched in AWE of what was unfolding before my eyes.

    I had worry come upon me. Great FEAR..... I witness the falling of the last building on T.V. My heart with out to GOD for the lives that were in that building as I was praying. We as a nation was in a WAR.

    I had FEAR every time that I would hear the news of what had happened. But when I did not hear the Newscasters speak, I would have peace beyond my understanding. Joy unspeakable. By all means, I was not happy that what had happened. It's was as thought I needed this PEACE from God to get through this time in my life.

    It's like that scripture in Psalm, there God gave me more gladness place upon me during time of the most horrible times in United States History: The 9/11 attack in United States. The day that changed America. Our nation came together...

    I did not know what was going on during this time in our American History. I did not watch the News that much on 9/11 because when I did there was FEAR or heaviness that came upon me. I could not explain.

    It was not until a few years ago that I have learned more about what happened on the tragic day. I did not know how many planes there were. The one that caught my attention was Flight 93. Every time when I saw a flag with 93 encircled by stars, I think of my salvation.

    It's been actually six years since that attack. Each year the ones that slain by this attack are remembered. I heard so many stories. Some people shared how they escaped. There was someone who lead a group of people in the dark. This person said he had no idea who he lead them. I believe that the Spirit of God lead them out. Some people who were told to stay walk off their jobs.

    Then there were some who were suppose to have been at work on that day, but were delayed in getting there. A little girl wanted her Daddy to take her to Mc Donald's for breakfast. She never ask her Daddy that before.

    God even use some of His people to pray. There were some who has concern over some people in New York the night before. I heard Pastor Cleflo Dollar speak of what he was doing the night before. I woke up the on that morning not knowing that was going on and was lead to pray.

    There were many lives lost that day. Many are in heaven with Jesus. Others bodies were never recovered. Some people are still tormented by what happened. The lives of the loved ones left behind will never be the same.

    I pray that we will be in unity as we go about this day forward. Life is so important. Life if priceless. Life is a gift from God. We tend to take others for granted at times. Let be not so. May we see others as one of God's creation. Help us, LORD.

    Father God, I thank You for the gift of life. Teach us to spent our lives well. Help us to be in tune with You. Show us the path in which we should take. You know our destiny, where we will end up.
    Grant salvation to the lost. Bring them into the saving knowledge of Jesus. Guide us all into that plan that You have for us. Lead us in that direction day by day in Jesus' Name Amen!
    --------------------------

    Thanks for reading.
    Remembering 9/11

    Stay On The Journey,
    Susan

Sunday, September 1, 2013

Project: Searching And Searching

  • Project: Searching And Searching

    I've been searching for things. Things that I can add to the family history. I've been searching for more photos. I'm finding some that I have forgotten about.

    I've searching the internet. There are a lot of things on the internet. I just have look out for things. The obituaries are a good source for information.

    I have been searching on Facebook. I have found more than what I thought. I can't believe how many relatives are on facebook. It's nice to see photos too.

    I have been wondering what else is there to search? think, I'll search back over what I have. There are times when I look at some things over and over again, I find things that I missed. I've been doing this at times. I've found new clues too.

    I don't think that I'm out of resources to look at. I believe that there is a lot more info out there. Some of that info haven't been made public yet.

    In due time, I will have more places to search. Perhaps know, I don't know where those places are. I hope some day that I will stumble across them.

    All in due time more info will come. Meanwhile, I'm searching places that I know about. I'm thankful for what I have discovered. Thanking God for the leads. Thank You, Jesus!

    May we learn to keep on keeping on.
    May we keep on searching.
    May we not give up on what we are searching for in life.
    Amen.

    Thanks for reading.Susan

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Why Do People Use People?

Thursday, 20 October 2011

  • Why Do People Use People?

    I don't recall when this question came to my thinking. Perhaps I felt used by someone to do something. We can use people and people can use us for our own gain. We should watch our motives in doing things.

    There are times on facebook or twitter I see a lot of that going on. It's sad. At times I think I do it. I don't want to use people in a way that I can gain things.

    I can say I knew someone who was in the NFL. I got to see him play and so forth.  I don't use that to get in good with people. Nor do I want others to think less of me. I must be lucky.

    We should respect one another. Especially when we blog or use the internet. I don't want to embarrass any one. I think others don't either.

    I don't know why people use people. Perhaps  it's because we want to be known. People can say that they went to dinner with a well known person. Or I talk with a famous preacher who's on T.V.

    We forget about the little things in life. We seem to what to have contact with the well known or popular people in the crowd. We forget about the people who are there. But we seem to over look them.

    What about the person who's a the check out counter? How about the person who opened the door for you? What about person at the doctor's office who wanted to carry on a conversation? Or was it, we don't know them. Or they can't do anything for me.

    Well, what if that person at the check out counter happened to be the owner of the store who traded people with a worker? What if that person who opened the door for you was Joyce Meyers? What if that person in the doctors office was Rev. Billy Graham? I think our attitude would change.

    We can say, guess who was at the check out counter? Or Joyce Meyers opened the door for me. Or I talked with Rev Billy Graham, today. We love to share these stories with people. Or are we using people to share things?

    We can go over board if we don't have control over things. We have to learn as we go about life. There are people who keep  using people. This can bring on strife. I've seem people go from one person to the other getting things.

    I pray that we don't use people for our gain. I hope that we can see the harm in using people. I pray that things can turn around when this happens.

    May God help us to be kind to all who cross our path. May we have wisdom to share what we know about people. May the LORD guide us in what we do. Amen.

    Thanks for reading.Why Do People Use People?
    Staying On The Journey,
    Susan

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Some of My Pondering: The Believer

Sunday, 27 January 2008

  • Some of My Pondering: The Believer

    On my journey of transformationLately, I have been thinking about my Christian walk. Some how I have been pointing my way back to How was I drawn to God? For some reason that has been on my heart. May God answer my desire on how I was drawn to Him.

    This year is a new beginning for me. I cannot explain it in words. There is some things so different about this year. I have sense more of changes during the past two weeks.

    I remember during my early Christian years, I always wanted to know more about GOD. I mean... I believe that there was more for me to know about Him. And I wanted to find it out.

    I recall one night in 1994, I was up late. I was talking with God. I don't recall how long I was up that night. But I was needing to go to sleep . So I ask God a question. I ask Him; Was I talking to Him too much?

    I was not expecting God to answer me. But you know I believe that He did in some way. This is what spontaneously came into my spirit. "You are spiritual growing like a wild flower in the wilderness." After I received this, I cracked up and starting laughing. I said "OK! I will go to sleep."

    Those words that come to me that night, stuck with me. I did go through some things back in  the years of late 1993 - 1999. Things that I did not know what they were. Spiritually, I was growing...

    My dependence was on God and God alone. As I look back on this, my foundation had to been rooted in God. Something was trying to shake me. And shake me loose....bringing fear into my Christian life.

    Some of the things that I went through, God was the only one who could have brought me through. I had questions. I asked some people around me. I shared some of the things that I went through. I wondered about. Some who I ask.... could not answer what I ask them. 

    But through the years, I am finding out some of those questions that I have been pondering. Still I have other questions that I am seeking. I believe I have come along ways in my Christian journey.

    I may or may not find the answers to my questions. I don't need to know everything. I am curious about some things. 

    Since I got hooked up with The Church by joining, more questions are being answered. I can say I am in "The Church years." I mean, at one point I was not a member of a church.

    I ask someone a question. Could a person believe in Jesus and not be connected with a Church--- the person was drawn from Church and did not attend?
    The person that I ask could not answer my question. I believe that a person can receive Jesus as Lord and Savior outside of Church. I believe that that was my case.

    I believe that I was saved but did not attend Church. I was drawn away from Church. But sought after GOD. I had fear about going to church so to speak. There was something there that draw me away.

    About 10 years before I started going to Church, there came a time while in my bedroom, I confessed and I believed on Jesus. He is the Son of God. He died on the CROSS and so forth. I was not drawn to the Church. Perhaps that is why I have this desire to find out How was I drawn to God?

    Sunday Church gathering....
    I am learning more of "What Does It Means To Be A Christian?" through Pastor Brian Zahnd's series: His message on The Believer.... What must Christians believe?

    I did not hear about Apostle's Creed unto I started going to Church at Word of Life. In the past years I have come more aware of this creed. I believe that I am getting deeper into my Christian journey.

    I am a believer in Jesus Christ. I am standing on what I believe through revelation from God, the Father. This is my creed that is what I believe.

    Here is the Apostles' Creed. (There are other versions.)
    I believe in God, the Father almighty, 
    creator of heaven and earth. 
    I believe in Jesus Christ, God's only Son, our Lord, 
    who was conceived by the Holy Spirit, 
    born of the virgin Mary, 
    suffered under Pontius Pilate, 
    was crucified, died, and was buried; 

    He descended to the dead. 
    On the third day he rose again; 
    He ascended into heaven, 
    He is seated at the right hand of the Father, 
    and He will come again to judge the living and the dead. 
    I believe in the Holy Spirit, 
    the Holy Christian church, 
    the communion of saints, 
    the forgiveness of sins, 
    the resurrection of the body, 
    and the life everlasting.
    AMEN.

Tuesday, August 13, 2013

Thoughts To Some Question & Updates Old Blog SIte

Notes Thursday, 13 September 2007

  • Thoughts to Some Questions & Updates

    I have been thinking about these questions that I posted on two months ago. I made this post public on November 13, 2007; The First Anniversary of My Blogging Journey.

    I will come back to these questions from time to time. See how things have come along on this journey called blogging. My attitude will change so will my answers to some of these questions.

    (Remember this responses are my answers. Please do not be offended. Pray for me if you are offended... Thanks.)

    Third Update:
    3 April 13, 2008: 17 Months on Xanga and Blogging.

    Times of Reflections: Thoughts To Some Questions & Update #3


    Second Update:

    13 February 2008: 15 Months on Xanga and Blogging.

    Times of Reflections: Thoughts To Some Questions & Update #2

    First updated: November 6 -13 2007      

    To whom am I blogging...?There are 37 subscribers to my site. I do have RSS. Then there are the unknown who either don't sign in or have not joined Xanga. At times, I lock my site; that means to view my site, you must sign in.

    Why am I blogging? What is my purpose?I want an online journal to express my thoughts. I want to record some of what is going on my life's journey. I like to blog what I experience and I have encountered.   
    What's off limits? Slandering, Gossiping, Negative things...

    What should I share?
    What's on my heart; Uplifting things.

    So far, I have shared varies of things over the year. My personal testimonies & Series*Shared some of my experiences *My quest and journey of my family history* Prayers from prayer gatherings* Made Prayer Requests* Prayed* Advent of Christmas *Easter; Lent* I tagged some friends* I get tagged* I played along with some of my friends games* I ask questions* I answered questions that I pondered about blogging* Post devotional.* Miscellaneous subjects: Bible verses, special days, quotes.

    Do I want people to know what I think?
    That times I don't. But than again, I could benefit by sharing with others. (If the Holy Spirit leads me to blog some thing I will take a step of faith and do it.)

    Will others want to read what I share? Who can I relate to on my blogrings? It took a while for me to believe that others would read what I write. I still have people who subscribe to my blogs. There have been about a hand full who discontinued subscribing to my site.

    We have our right to what we what to read and feed our minds. I tend to be drawn to blogger who I can relate to or have same common factor of interest. Jesus is one of those factors.

    How I know who can relate to what I blog about, it is through feedback. Who I can relate to on my blogrings comes through comments. I can sense that by what people say. And if people keep coming back.

    Am I wasting my time blogging publicly? Should I go private?I don't believe that I am wasting my time blogging publicly. If I don't receive comments are no footprints on my feedback it does not mean anything. I remind myself the purpose of my blogging.

    There have been times that I thought about going private. But I have consider if I did, no one can read what I have written. It would be to my benefit if I leave my online journey open to the public. The way that I see it, whosoever reads my journal has the honor to read what I blog about.

    Do (all) my subscribers read my blogs?
    I would be only assuming that that are. To be honest, I have wondered. I did come across  honest subscribers who said that they are behind on reading their subscription. We have our lives to live. Things come up and we cannot do everything that we want.

    I am thankful that I have regular friends who comment. And I see footprints of unknown readers. This does bring encouragement.

    Am I reading all my subscriptions? I do my best to read my subscriptions. There have been times when I try to catch up when I had computer trouble. At times I am limited to how much I can read in a day or so. I read what I can.

    Do I have too my subscriptions too read?  Should I cut down on my subscriptions?I be honest with you I think that I do. I have cut down a lot on my subscriptions. There were some in my early days of blogging that I thought to read. It got too much for
    me.

    My interest drew away from some of what I was reading. I tend to come across some things that I don't want to continue to feed my thinking. So through the months that have went by I choose to cut down on what I had.

    There are some I thought I to disconnect but now I have every few subscriptions. With the subscription I have, bloggers are not blogging as much. From time to time I have less to read. Than it seems that bloggers tend to blog during holidays and special occasions.

    Does it make any different that others read what I write? I believe so.

    Who are my________ ? I ask myself and I ask God...Who are my friends on Xanga? Those friends are the ones who comment from time to time. The ones who read...I posted a blog on November 11, 2007 about this.

    Can viewers read my text print style?  What kind of theme "skin" should I use?When I do my text print if I cannot read the prints, how can others. I take time when it comes time for me to change my "skin" or theme on my blogsite.

    Then there are times I just want to be plain. What we put on our blogsite tell things about ourselves: our interest and whatsoever.

    What do I like about blogging?
    It depends. I have been blogging what comes to my thinking or what is going on in my life. My focus behind my blogging is the love of God.

    What are my dislikes about blogging?
    Bloggers... slandering others, Gossip...Bloggers miss using blogging.

    Should I post who I subscribe to on my site?  Should I post my friends photos and how many? 
    I have thought about this...I have decide to not post who I subscribe to. Some of my subscribers have not blogged in a long while. I don't what to embarrass them. About my friends photos and the number...I have listed some. I have 45 blogger-friends in Xanga that have accepted invitation to be my friend. (Only 4 of those friends ask me to be their friend.) I had a total of 46, one left.

    What about my photos? What about family members' photos?
    I don't like to show too many photos of myself. It took a lot of courage to photo my very first photo. Then off and on I would not post photos of myself. As for my family photos. I don't want to.

    Should I write about____?  Am I blogging too much?  Are my blogs too long?
    I try not to write about "touchy stuff." If I do I seek God. If I have Peace about it, I post whatever it is. I take time to think about what I write and wait to post my blog.

    As for blogging too much and are they too long?...I have learned that this is my blog site. I cannot blog what I want too and as much as I please. What I write about should be on the uplift not slander or gossip.

    I have noticed the some don't click on to additional things I have posted. I have written a lot and wonder if other are able to read all what I write.

    (Perhaps they did not know that there was more.) Maybe break what I do into smaller blogs so there is not much reading at on time.
        
    Do my blogs make sense? Do I proof read my blogs?I try to reread what I write. If I lay it aside and come back it seems to make sense. When I make a mistake, I don't worry about it. I hope others understand want I write.

                                           What's my desire to blog?I have a passion to write. I have always keep a journal. I jot day things. I cannot recall how many years I have kept a journal.

    How do I prepare my blogs? Where do I get my ideas to blog?
    I try to take time to do most of what I blog about. I try to watch my spelling. I tend to write in advance.... I have an idea on what I want to do. Some ideas come to my thinking. I do seek the LORD.

    Should I blog daily? Should I blog off and on?
    I have want to blog daily. However I know that this can not be the case in some days. I might have computer or internet trouble. I blog when I am able.

    I thought about blogging off and on. I have some many thoughts that have come into my head daily. Putting down what is on my mind and in my thoughts seem to help me out in life.

    Should I take a vacation from blogging?
    I did think about taking a vacation from blogging publicly more than once. During that time I did not receive a lot of comments. I wondered if any body could relate to me. I have had my share of things in this blogging world.

    Do I give others comments on their sites?
    Yes, in my early blogging days I did that a lot. I did not get much feedback.  Now there are the regular blogger friends who make comments. I believe that it is out of friendship that we make regular comments to one another.

    Do I visit others blog sites?
    Yes, but not as much as I use to. It is a strange world of blogging. I have noticed a lot of things during my stay here in Xanga. The blogsites that I tend to go to are the ones who I comment on a lot.

    There are few who actually view my site directly. I am tending to do the same. But I have notice that we miss out a lot when we DO NOT go directly to each other's sites. I have come across videos. Special dates in history, beautiful themes... things that bless me.

    But then again, I have discovered some things on others sites that I don't want to see. Some have ungodly material.

    Do I blog just that others give me comments?
    This is not my intention. I do ask questions. There is very very few feedback. At times,  I cease to ask questions on my site. If I do ask question and receive no feedback, I answer the question myself.

    Am I counting how many blogs I am posting?
    At first I did not. But as I have been coming to my first year of blogging and accumulating blogs, I had to. I could not believe that I have posted so many blogs in just 12 months. Besides, I have to put some in a categories

    Do comments really matter to me?
    I believe that they do. They can bring more insight and encouragement in what I am doing. Then again comments can offend or convict me in what I say or do.

    Am I inspiring those who read what I share? Do I bring encouragement to others? Do I edify others and build up others?
    I believe that I am.
    Do I answer questions that are ask of me?
    I do my best to answer whatever question that is within reasons to answer. I have also made some of those questions blogs.

    Do I ask others for ____? Help etc.. Do others respond to my call for what I ask? Indeed I have. Some respond.

    Do I thank other for what they do?  Am I appreciative?
    I do my best. Being thankful is what God wants us to do. I believe that I am appreciative. There are times, I wonder if some people are. We can take things for granted in life.

    If I don't feel like I am appreciative in what I do, I tend to withdraw from whatever and go about my way. No need to waste time where I seem to be not welcome.

    I cannot keep knocking on some one's door when I know that they will not open the door when I see them on the other side. There is a time when things have to cease. If not making grounds, do something else.

    Do I have anything worthwhile to share?  I do have things worthwhile to share.

    What am I doing blogging? I ask myself this question from time to time.

    What's next on my blogger's journey? As the Spirit leads...I have some ideas.

Thursday, August 8, 2013

School Of Life

Notes: Monday, 10 October 2011

  • School Of Life

    Life As A School: Being A Gardener

    There are situations in life that we experiences. Those things can add to our knowledge base. We learn as we go through trials and test in our every day living. It's how we react that makes a difference.

    How we respond to life will differ with each person. Our attitude can be shaped by what we go through. It could be for the good or for the bad. In the process we grow.

    In some cases we can turn bad situations around. It's our attitude that can change the atmosphere. When some things don't go our way, we can get bent out of shape.

    But we need to remember that we have a choose to make. Our choices may make can be the changes we need or the things that we need to see. We should look for good in things.

    I can see that being negative doesn't add to the issue at had. It can cause more problems than good. We can learn the gift of life that's there by what we experience. We hope
    that it's good in life that there.

    Here's one example I thought about keeping up a garden... The Negative side of keeping up a garden. First the ground had to be plowed, the plants or seeds planted. Than comes the hard part....maintenance of the garden as things are needed....

    The weeds that are growing, the bugs that surrounds, wonder why the plants not growing as the should, getting dirty, out in the heat, don't feel like getting the weeds out of the garden, needing to get the hose out to water the garden than put the hose back up.

    How can I see This NEW PICTURE? Keeping up a garden...
    The good feeling that I can see. is the out come of what work was needed to keep the garden up. The harvest that will come from the garden. The savings from not having to
    buy the veggies at the store. The feeling of growing and appreciating of being apart of some thing that took time to do.

    LEARNING GIFTS
    I've learned to be consistence with what I had to do.
    I've found it to be a task in which I choose to do.
    I've connected with the great outdoors.
    I've learn to care for the needs of the veggies.
    I've learned in the long run, I can see the end of what I've started.
    I've learned the good in keeping with the garden was a purpose.

    Life is a school. We learn about life as we experience the issues of life that come. We learn what is right. We learn what is wrong. We grow in the process of going through things in our lives.

    In the long run, it's good to have a garden. Throughout it all... the veggies are homegrown. They taste good. What a great salad that we can have during the Summer months.

    I have grown to appreciate having a garden every year. This is our third one. Our last year garden wasn't the best. The first one was good harvest.
    I was determine to keep the weeds out this year. I kept at it. I reminded myself to look at the garden every time I went outside. I would say our garden looks good. We have a good garden.

    This brought a good feeling inside of me. I saw that our garden was growing. I was so excited when I saw some of the veggies. I see that what I was doing was working.
    I see that it takes time to maintain a garden. In the long run. it's all worth the time in the making. All the time spend in the garden lead to producing a harvest. A harvest much more than I though would come.

    Life is a journey.
    And on this journey, Life is a school. In this school, we learn about life. It's good to have some one to help and guide us along our journey.
    I'm so grateful that the Holy Spirit is with me on my journey. Life is a challenge. I'm thankful in times of struggle, I have some one to call upon. I thank God for hearing me.

    May we learn in life that life is a school. May we see that every thing in our life, things can get better. May we have hope to believe that we can get through the storms in our lives. May we not grow weary in doing good. May we see the end of what we started. Amen!

    Thanks for reading. Life As A School: Being A Gardener
    Staying On The Journey,
    Susan

    P.S.

    Our lives are like gardens. We have to keep ourselves up. We grow as we are watered and seasoned. We have to get the weeds out of our hearts and thinking. Life is a school. That school is for a lifetime.

    I think I posted this before.

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