Since Nov 29, 2001: Where Am I Now?

Thursday, 29 November 2012

• Since Nov 29, 2001: Where Am I Now?

  It was 11 years ago today when something in my life was coming end. It was a normal Thursday evening. I and the others were preparing for choir practice.
  
  I can't recall how we were lead to hear the news. The news of the ending of regular choir on Dec, 2, 2001. It was shocking news. I couldn't believe it.
  
  It was a sad thing to hear. I was torn to pieces. I felt like a part of me died that day. It was like I was not needed any more. I had lost a job that I so loved doing.
  
  That night when I went home, my spirit was down. I made up my mind to get myself prepared to sing on Friday and Sunday services. I wanted to be apart of the ending of the regular choir.
  
  My spirit got very low since I heard the news of the choir. I didn't understand why the ending came in the way that it did. I really didn't hear an explanation why the choir ended.
  
  I cried myself to sleep that Thursday night.  My soul was in sorrow. I was in prayer with God for comfort. Even though I didn't understand why things ending that way. I wanted to do what was right.
  
  I got myself together for my very last Friday night service as in the regular choir. It was a sad time. I did what I normally did. I worshipped God.
  
  As for Sunday, I wasn't as talkative. I still couldn't understand why things where as they were. I  didn't want to leave the choir.  But we didn't have any choose.
  
  Sunday December 2, 2001 was very sad day for me. I went to church. I didn't want to talk much during church. I sung in the regular choir for the last time. I wanted to leave on a good note.
  
  I gave God my all that day... As I step down from where I was standing, I feel that I was stepping into something new. I didn't know what it was...
  
  I made it to the room where I hang up my choir robe for the very last time. My robe  #  was 34. As I made my way to the bathroom I started to cry. I had to compose myself. 
  
  I made it to my seat to here the message. I was sad. I cried  and held back some tears.  Thought the days, months, years I had a very hard time looking up where the choir use to stand. I still attended the church where I sung in the choir.
  
  It's been a long time. I'm still being healed from the emotional up and down from the departure of choir. It was like I had a divorce. It was like I wasn't  wanted any more.
  
  I was very faithful as I was on the worship team. I did all that was requested. I thank God for the 5 years, 9 months and 11 days as a member of the special choir and regular choir.
  
  As I look back over my years since this sad time in my life, I see that I was broken. The thing that I loved so dearly was no more. I had no choose in the matter. It moved my into a direction I didn't where I was headed.
  I can say that I was broken. Through the years I can say "I'm still singing."  My heart is for the LORD. It's not in what I desire or what I think I need.
  
  As I continue on this journey, I see that I've come a long ways from this experience. God has been with me. His goodness and mercy continue to following me all my days.
  
  Even thought I have some flashback of sorrow of what happened, I can always turn to God for whatever comes in my path way. No matter what it is. God is there.
  
  Indeed things can and will happen in our lives. There are things that we will have no control over. We just have to apply what we should do in the best interest of what happens.
  
  May we learn from what things that bring sorrow to us.
  May we not get bitter over things that do turn out our way.
  May the LORD guide us in the direction that we should go.
  May the LORD heal our hurts and wounds
  May we remember the good memories in our lives.
  Amen.
  
  Thanks for reading.
  Susan
  
  Scripture
  
  But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.
  
  2 Corinthians 12:9 NIV